yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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