Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize