We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
