yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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