Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
