Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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