the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
