Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just tell him i said nine months
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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