I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
