dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
