How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
