Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
