I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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