Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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