I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
