I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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