I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
