If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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