this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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