We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser