also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
time to smoke my breakfast
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
