This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Why can't burritos get me drunk
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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