wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
