i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
