Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
