she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
