We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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