This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
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I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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