about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
