her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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