Where did you get a picture of my penis
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
