you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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