This is not my ceiling
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
