Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
