Well douche your snatch and let's go!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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