I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
