Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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