Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
