you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
