he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
