i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize