The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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