i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize