Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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