hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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