Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
