I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
