you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
