You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
