I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it was like eating out sand paper
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
