Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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