im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed