I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize