There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You're earring is so big in my mouth
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
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there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize