So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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