you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
