is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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