Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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