Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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