i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
