If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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