My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
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